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Friday 04-Oct-2019
【Oh!爸媽】放過你的寄宿子女

9月,又是英國寄宿學校開學日子,不少父母愛子女心切,電話短訊不斷關懷備至,離愁別緒分隔異地,煲點Skype或Facetime粥看似合理,不過一位英國知名男校舍監的太太Lucy Higginson,最近在《The Telegraph》分享心得,提到老公每逢入宿時對家長講的一席話:「Try to stay out of the way for the first three weeks」,我不能同意更多。Three weeks是個約數,簡單講就是呼籲家長勿做直升機,先讓子女全情融入寄宿生活。

再簡單點,就是唔該各位父母忍一忍,放低過慮,(暫時)放過你個仔/女。


寄宿學校不是幼稚園,你個仔/女也早已不是BB,家長忍了手不聯絡仔女,不等於要改為旁敲側擊,事無大小奪命追魂call舍監,追問阿仔阿女有否食得飽著得暖、如廁後有否好好擦屁股,畢竟舍監職責並非接線。Lucy的老公就會劈頭警告父母勿濫用電話,有事寫個電郵便好,「It’s better to email me than to phone, because I’m usually on the corridors – and that’s where you want me」。

Lucy與丈夫湊過逾200位寄宿男生和他們的父母,原來她自己也是寄宿學校的fans,今個9月,兩人的女兒也展開了寄宿生活。

「Happy boarders are pack animals」,寄宿學生行程緊密,私人時間較少,比較適合愛好音樂、體育、課外活動多多的青少年。寄宿生活可以令青少年學習時間分配、有足夠空間發展體育術藝、休息時間變得更有規律,獨立生活能力大大提升;但顯然寄宿不是靈丹妙藥,正正因為群體生活特性,如何與朋輩相處、融入團隊、有時或遭朋友取笑, 這些問題也會較常發生,甚至被放大。

有些事,學生或者會不敢、不想對父母透露,卻願意對舍監或寄宿家長和盤托出,Lucy希望父母接受這個事實,毋須羨慕妒忌,你個仔/女仍然係你個仔/女,舍監永遠取代不了你。相反,家長應該信任每天同你個仔/女緊密相處的宿舍職員,跟他們結為伙伴,才能共同解決問題。

最重要的重點是,既然都寄宿了,家長好應該適時放手,讓仔女自己落決定,毋須每事問,毋須太多意見,真的。

放手不是放任,我並非鼓勵父母視寄宿子女如潑出去的水,Lucy建議父母閒時跟仔女Facetime,觀察一下眼袋有冇變黑變大、容讓仔女訴說自己的焦慮不安,再適時將不妥當情況通知舍監,這類做法就值得各位港媽港爸參考。父母都應該把握機會,現身校園支持仔女參賽、欣賞辛苦練習後的表演,順便認識阿仔阿女的BFF。耳聽為真、眼見為實,一定好過每晚例行Facetime半個鐘。

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#Hot Topic
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Education Experts

With an entrepreneurial spirit spreading across online, print and broadcast media, Samuel is an award-winning educational consultant and celebrated columnist.

As a leader in the field of education, he was honoured with the British Council’s Study UK Alumni Award and his most prestigious achievement to date includes the founding of Hong Kong’s premier educational brands - Britannia StudyLink, Anglo Belgravia and Ascent Prep.

In addition to streamlining the UK independent school application process for Hong Kong families and spearheading the first official UKiset-accredited educational centre in Hong Kong, Samuel has led his company, Britannia, to becoming one of Asia’s leading brands with diverse clients and distinguished institutions ranging from Radley College to HSBC Bank and Hong Kong Telecom.

...

Mabel Chan is the Principal Consultant of Britannia. Having studied in both the UK and the US, she is an expert in school matching for overseas education. She writes education columns for Sing Tao Daily and The Standard, and answers questions arising from parents and students patiently.

...

MB Cheung, our senior consultant, has been writing education columns for major local newspapers for more than 25 years. With his experience and unique insights, he shares a variety of tips and advice on overseas education for the readers (and DSE students)

...
#School Analysis
Considering its reputation, Oundle School may not catch up to Eton, Wycombe Abbey and else top elite schools. However, Oundle’s academic performance is among the best in the United Kingdom. As a traditional top boarding school, Oundle pays huge attentions to student’s holistic development, by providing them diversified extra-curricular activities. In addition, Oundle still implements the House Dining System, which is rarely remaining among uk boarding schools. It is also one of the reasons why Hong Kong parents making a beeline for.
The ratio of teachers and students in Bromsgrove School is 1:8, which is lower than the average among uk boarding schools. In addition, according to my school visit experience, Bromsgrove has the best facilities, that it is undoubtedly one of the best three campuses in the UK. Besides, Bromsgrove spares no expense to provide students comfortable environment, it even invests on the nearby hotel and transfers it into dormitories. As a result, students can possess the “5-star enjoyment” on campus. To conclude, Bromsgrove is definitely a prospective and globalised uk boarding school.
Brighton College is Britain’s premier private school and one of the Hong Kong parents’ favourites. To understand a boarding school, despite of looking at its educational tenet, diversified extra-curricular activities and academics results, it is essential to observe the boldness of the principal. 10 years ago, after Mr. Richard Cairns taking up the duty of the Brighton College’s principal, the school ranking raises from the 150th to the top 20th. In addition to promoting educational reformation, Mr Cairns is such a good principal, that he still strives for maintaining students’ curiosity at the same time.
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